I dare you to catch razor butterflies
yours truly

Jaey '19
ex-peps , ex-wwss, ex-saint, ex-jjcian, current pioneer
05S04 / 06A01 / 06A05 / 06A04
Geography, Literature, Economics, Biology
Zoology is my game
Bandsmen / Debator / retiredDrama-mama
-bite me and i'll bitchslap you to pluto



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LeeDeeYa credits to deviantart. / fox orian


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Night Mares
Jig Is Up
Monthly Roundup
Mother Her children are kept in pale w...
Word.
Seven Twenty Six
So
Camaraderie My Foot!
Monday, Practically Tuesday
Big Needles, Buffed Bods and A Friend



DISCLAIMER

unfortunately for you , im a male bitch i'm single, unabashed and some label as a gay-wannabe throw yourself in a duffle bag 'coz the epitome of hypocrisy is me kiss, kill, relish *smooches* and if this happen to make u say " GAYSHIT " then i suggest you go get yourself a half priced life during the Great Singapore Sale Free Web Counter
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Night Mares
Saturday, December 01, 2007

I've been dreaming lately of being late for my A Levels or having no table to sit on while i stare blankly at a million hands scribbling at top speed.

Why the eff am i dreaming about the exams when I've been done with them for over a week now?

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Jig Is Up
Monday, October 29, 2007

THE A LEVELS ARE HERE!

pray for my ascension to glorious grades. I think i might (hope i do too) visit my parish and pray for strength and faith.

That's what i need and would love to share with my friends.

Hi usha!

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Monthly Roundup
Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Please. Effing. Kill. Me.

Take the sharpest knife from your breastpocket and puncture my veins. Let me stare in a half-hearted symphonic stasis. I want to lay down my life. Suicide suicide genocide - cyanide effing pills and gas me up into a helium balloon.

Effing think its just focus and study but i shut the doors to screams and cries - why won't i die ? Effing is really wrong to mount on my horse and gallop away. I'm afraid, yet lovesick so kill me now. 2 years from that week in the future and will i listen to suffer ?

Take me to the cliff of your HDB and let me fall like paper. Tell me the void deck funerals and weddings mean the same thing. Heartbeat falsified truth of your God.

I won't pick up the phone so let me be.

Please. Effing. Let. Me. Die Soon.

It's on my palm anyway. Slightly off 2027.

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Sunday, September 23, 2007

Mother

Her children are kept in pale white iceboxes,
their pink and nude shells like popsicles for a warm summer day.

The cupboards grin, a discreet shroud for smiling sickles and happy hammers that make her craftsmanship almost artistic.
The faucet cries knowing it’s an accomplice to homicide, pearls swimming in red.
Blood is indeed thicker than water.
She peels them, like an artichoke which only the heart is edible.
Each delicate human petal is plucked off – a classic game of love me not.
They love her, she – not.
Silk strands of mahogany strewn on crumpled pink chiffon, their eyes cold with frozen love for the warm woman.
Unpicks God’s hem, the children are almost threadless;
dismantled dolls.
She’s their God now.

Deoxygenated effervescence that fuels this hydrological symphony.
Graceful water babies steaming in drowning steel pots, their permanent backstrokes and flotsam fantasies amuse her.
Afloat for nine months, they fed off her amnion for suspension.
She’s merely paying them back for playing with her placenta.
Gruesome grievous gestation.

The pots chatter, their wafting breaths hug her heaving bosoms that expire today.
After all, there isn’t much of a difference.
They both begin with the same letter.
Mother of all murderers.

maybe one day i'll be famous and forget all the hurt i've seen.
Prelims was a laugh. Flunk.
I'm lost and have lost.
I miss school, takes my mind off things, of reality just for a few hours.

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Word.
Monday, September 03, 2007

I'm afraid after hundred odd days through the year 2007, I'm finally afraid. Afraid of what's coming towards me, afraid of relationships with other human beings, afraid of being myself.

I think nobody believes in inner beauty. Even I fall short in grappling with such beliefs. It's an image world. I'm so stupid.

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Seven Twenty Six
Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I'm lounging at home 'cause school hurts me & my mom needs me.

Besides the fact that my nose bled yesterday after 4-ish years and that i broke down in front of the idol everyone sucks up to, everything was a-ok.

Considering the fact that my head started throbbing and my ears flushed with intense heat while i tried my best not to stutter and cry for being so insulted by someone i have lost all respect for.

And to the so called A05 (literature) clique, thanks. I have never been humiliated, insulted and blamed for so many things in my life. I've managed to ace Project Work and the many other group works i've been assigned, but when it came to this, you guys majorly fucked it up. Trust me, I'll try not to bear grudges but most probably it's an empty promise. Things will never be the same. I'm in no mood to be matured about it. Inconslable? Fuck yes. If you guys know how much i've been suffering all these weeks with the added burden of one of you being a complete backstabber, you wouldn't even look at me.

I'm more then ever convinced that i have a brain tumour.
Throbbing jabs in my left brain + nose bleed = tumour?

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So
Monday, August 20, 2007

So much for today being the first day of the rest of my life.

You guys played the game too well. I'm struck out. Thanks.
And sorry. You guys have lost my trust.

Once again, the term " you guys " is collective and subjective. If you think you fall under the category of " you guys ", then join me in the countdown till the days we never cross paths.

The thought of pure vodkha sounds so welcoming.

I live to let you shine.

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